There
are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept
the responsibility for changing them.
Denis
Waitley
That’s
quite profound in a few short words isn’t it, is life really that simple? One
thing I know with absolute certainty – you can read as many books, have as much
therapy as you like, but if you still keep being a passenger in your own life,
it will always take you back to the same places.
It’s
our thinking can get in the way of our happiness. It is our thoughts that really dictate the
way we feel, so why not choose thoughts that make you feel amazing?
That
leads me nicely to the real crux of change - you! Do you know who you are, what
you want, what you don’t want in your life? Inside of you there is a well of
knowledge, a deep understanding, and an affinity for the real world around you,
for nature. Above all there is an inner wisdom that tries to speak to you. It’s too easy to become numbed to our inner
wisdom and happiness from the multitude of distractions that surround us. The
media is always full of false ideals of where happiness comes from. Usually
based upon how we look, what we own, and where we live (to name but a few).
In
those situations where you are poised at a junction in your life – there is the
choice of what others expect you to do and what your inner wisdom knows is the
right thing to do. You've felt that before, you've stood at that junction many
times – you've certainly looked back with hindsight and recognised that moment.
Who hasn't looked back and thought, why did I do that? How about if you got so in tune with your
inner wisdom that you were able to make the right choices at the right time –
that would be great wouldn't it?
So
how do you get to that point, how do you get to feel confident about making
choices that are perhaps not the one that “they” think you should?
Learn
that other people’s judgement is always all about them – their feelings, their
fears, their experience, and their needs. The advice they offer you is based on
their own internal guidance system,
how can that possible help you?
Learn
that sometimes people have agendas, that some people won’t want you to change
as that would not benefit them. People who genuinely have love for you, albeit
friends, partners, family, they want to give you wings to fly in everything you
do. If they want to hold you down – you need to take a long hard look at why.
Learn
to exorcise ghosts from the past – the secret to this is to truly learn from
the lessons that the experience gave you. To take every positive piece of that
experience, use it to move on and explore your own life and get to know you,
look at your patterns of behaviour. If you can’t do this alone – find someone competent
to help you.
Learn
that what doesn’t serve you, what doesn’t need to be held onto for the rest of
your life. There’s a huge choice right there, does a bad experience own you for
the rest of your life, or do you own it
and move forward? It isn’t easy, believe
me I know, but if you really want to move forward into a happy life, take baby
steps, each day. Of course it's going to be hard, why wouldn't it be?
Learn
that every choice you make based on fear, will only ever lead you to
unhappiness. You don’t grow stronger by keeping old fear based patterns; you grow
stronger by breaking through them. Courage leads to strength that leads to resilience
that leads to more courage that leads to more strength, that gives you energy,
impetus to make changes – that leads to happiness.
Learn
that one of the most important things to recognise is that we are what we think
we are. Fear from old patterns provides us with an excuse not to do things that
would challenge us. When we allow fear to prevent us from changing, we are
letting the past win. This is hard to
overcome, but not impossible.
How
many times have you been invited to do something, or given an opportunity of
some sort. It sounded lovely, something you’d like to do, and so you say yes.
Then, as it draws closer your inner critic starts to sit upon your shoulder and
say all manner of “what ifs”, all related to your fears. The easy choice is to
feign illness and cry off. How many times have you done that, heard what a
great time everyone had and really regretted your actions?
From
the moment we wake up in the morning, until we close our eyes to sleep. We are
making choices. Every single one of those choices has an impact upon our day,
physically, mentally and spiritually, every day is a cycle of events. Life is
all about making choices and it’s so easy to forget that even the tiniest of
choices are the ones that can bring about huge changes in
our lives.
Here
are some choices you can make every day, I am sure you can think of others too.
Use them wisely and they can bring about incredible change.
Trust
your intuition, your gut feeling. It’s your inner guidance system, your best
friend and can help you to make wise choices.
Stop
and think about the way you treat yourself, do you have a harsh inner critic?
Are you unkind to yourself? Negative self-talk is one of the hardest habits to
break, it’s hard, especially if it’s been the habit of a lifetime. Change
negative self-talk to positive, it’s not easy, it won’t happen overnight, but
it will make a huge change. Next time you get that invite or opportunity – say yes
please and find the courage to own your life.
Become
your own friend, when we rely on others for our own happiness we give away our
sense of self-worth. It’s good to have friends around us, but it is also good
to be strong enough to hold your own counsel too. If it feels right for you –
do it.
Love
yourself; treat yourself kindly, all yourself to feel love from others. Don’t
isolate yourself, accept love and help when you need it. Learn the difference
between choices based on love and respect for you, and those based on fear
learnt from others.
Think
you’re not strong enough? Pah! Look at what you've been through. You have courage and strength in abundance; you just need to start using it positively.
Be
passionate about your life, it’s yours, so own it! What do you love to do, a
hobby, a dream job, anything is possible, and the only thing stopping you, is
your own belief that you can’t do it.
Take
a deep breath, hold your head up high, and go for it; you really have
absolutely nothing to lose, except the fear of doing it.
